5) Unrealistic Approach to Time

The fifth characteristic of a troubled person is an unrealistic approach to time. A person who copes this way crowd the time dimensions of a problem, or they extend the time factors way into the future. This means that the person either wants the problem fixed right away or will delay and delay, which avoids the discomfort of reality but enlarges the person’s problem.

6) Excessive Guilt

A person who struggles with excessive guilt has difficulty coping with a crisis. The person tends to blame no else but himself for the difficulty which results in feeling worse and self immobilization.

7) Blamers

A blamer also has difficulty coping with a crisis. This person does not focus on what the problem is but turn to “the cause of the problem”. This person’s approach is to find some enemies, either real or imagined, and project the blame on them.

Excessive Dependence or Independence

The eighth characteristic of a person who does not cope well is the tendency to be either very dependent or very independent. The person either turn away from others who offer help or becomes a clinging vine. The person who clings tend to suffocate those who are helping him or her. An overly independent person, on the other hand, shun offers to help, and even if he or she is sliding down the hill toward disaster, this person does not cry out.

1) Overwhelmed

One characteristic is that the person is nearly overwhelmed in a crisis. Prior to the crisis the person is emotionally weak and responds in a way that makes matters worse, but from the person’s perspective it is the most efficient thing possible. The reason is because that person is already hurting emotionally.

2) Poor Physical Condition

Another characteristic is having a poor physical condition. The person who has some type of physical ailment or illness has less resources to draw on when a crisis strikes. When poor coping skills are noticed during difficult times, recommend a physical examination.

3) Hard Time Coping

The person who denies reality has a hard time coping with crisis. This denial is that person’s attempt to avoid the pain and anger being felt. The person may deny being seriously ill or being financially ruined, or that the person’s relationships are being destroyed. Sometimes, even people who are well-educated respond this way.

4) “Magic of the Mouth”

Dr. Ralph Hirschowitz, a Harvard psychiatrist, coined this term which means the tendency to eat, drink, smoke and talk excessively. When a crisis enters the person’s life, the person seems to regress to infantile forms of behavior, their mouths taking over in one way or another. The person feels uncomfortable unless he or she is doing something with his or her mouth most of the time. This is an attempt to not fave the real problem and this behavior may continue even after the crisis is over.

The next four characteristics will be posted soon.